For every high, there is an equal low. This I know to be pharmaceutically true.
Yesterday, I got to read the first chapter from my next book, "Are you there, Judy Blume? It's me, Henriette." at the Sidedoor Salon. Oh, ecstasy! Fresh words rolled around on my tongue like French kissin'!
Today, I woke up to my 16th agent rejection in 6 1/2 months, from those folks in NYC. (One, albeit, reluctantly. WTF.)
It sucks. Soul-sucking to be clear. Agent rejection feels like getting dressed on your wedding day, asking, "How do I look?" and having someone throw grape juice all over you (obligatory sober reference.) It's like kissing someone for the first time, having them pull back and go, "Yeah. Not so much." It's like wearing your heart on your sleeve and having them set it on fire.
You get the idea.
The way I see it, I have two options. I can drop to the floor and roll around fetal, sticking the thumb-that-I-sucked-until-I-was-10 back into my mouth. OR I can do the following:
1) Let my husband repeatedly and adorably tell me the story of how John Grisham's "A Time to Kill" was completely rejected until he wrote "The Firm."
2) Play my friend, K's, melodic voice in my head. "DO NOT GIVE UP! DO NOT GIVE UP!"
3) Eat some black licorice (insert your Sugar of Choice).
4) Get off the thinking pot and focus on something other than The Book. Talk to my beautiful sponsee. Celebrate another equally beautiful sponsee who turned a miraculous "1" today! Call someone new who is suffering with chronic pain.
5) Open up an email from my FIL who tells me I am unconditionally loved.
6) Cry some more.
7) Hit my knees and thank G_d for: My sobriety, my kidney transplant, the strength to sustain chronic pain, my husband, home, family and friends. And black licorice.
8) Pull up the photo to the right and swoon: Look at them. Sensational. Sexy. Supportive. We will love each other whether or not The Book ever sees the light of press.
9) And, oh. Thank G_d for one more thing: My talent. Because f**k those 16 agents. The Book is happening. One way or another It's On.
But that ain't success. Nope. Success are those 5 faces to the right.
For I also know this to be true. "No man is a failure who has friends.”
Cue: a decidedly unpharmaceutical high coming on.