The last time I was at The Four Seasons Las Vegas, I was addicted to Vodka and Vicodin. I loved everything about the combination-from the triple limes, to the divine high, to the snappy alliteration of the double V's. I was obsessed.
I remember leaving our hotel suite after swallowing my last pill, swearing to myself that it would be the last time. That I would never order another prescription again. Until I left the pool bathroom and the magic combination hit me. I was detached from the husband from who had just given me a kidney, and determined to never stop worshipping at the altar of drugs and alcohol.
I had lost the power of choice.
5 years later, and with nearly 3 years of sobriety, I am a grateful addict, deeply thankful to AA which helped me find my god. Submerged in Sin City, I feel free from drugs and alcohol, not deprived of. I am so lucky. My god is with me everywhere I go.
I find God in prayer on the floor of our hotel bathroom. In the grin on Kevin's face as he catches a wave at the pool. God is in my belly that sticks out with my 2 kidney transplants, and in the peck on my cheek that my husband gives me as we walk hand-in-hand down the Las Vegas Strip.
With my god, I have the power of choice again. Just for today.
My heart is bursting. Today, I get to choose my husband. I get to choose sobriety. I get to choose love.